28037

Joke of the Day

"[pharmacy] ""Can I help you?"" Yeah, could you recommend anything over the counter for this? *lifts shirt to reveal 7 fresh gunshot wounds*"

"How do you kill 20 flies at once? Slap that little Ethiopian in the face."

"Best day to propose a girl Hey U Know Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1 U Know Why?? If she accept its your luck otherwise just tell April Foooooll."

"Did you hear about the insomniac, dyslexic, obsessive compulsive butcher? He used to lay in bed at night worrying about why he constantly weighed a steak."

"I am going to make a new app that will be like Twitter exclusively for kids! It will be called Sesame Tweet."

"Dad : son ,when I was your age I used to walk 6kms to school Son: oh now I get it Dad: get what? Son: why you didn't make it to university"

"Why do the jews have such big noses? because air is free"

"In the event of a zombie apocalypse, who's the first to lose his job? a necromancer"

"Why do I watch the Cosby show? I enjoy dark humour. Yes, this was both a rapist and racial joke."

"Obesity levels in the U.K. are rapidly declining. They're dropping pounds fast"