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Joke of the Day

"Pissed there isn't a superhero in my town called 'The Human Bee'. That jumps out of trees with a knife in his ass."

"My friend Opie owns a pizza restaurant. Wanna know why it's so successful? Because Opie delivers."

"[remodel] Me: can you please keep that awful noise down? Contractor: for the last time, sir, we don't control who's running for president."

"Hi I'm with the salad police. If you happen to see or hear any suspicious activity regarding renegade vegetables in your local area Please lettuce know"

"Why did the angry Jedi cross the road? To get to the Dark Side."

"When I make Breakfast all I want is a ""Thank You"", Not ""Who are you and how did you get into my house"""

"Why don't witches wear panties? Because they need to grip the broom!"

"Why did Bin Laden stop having sex? Every time he looked between a woman's legs, he saw Bush."

"I'm the only child in my family. My mom said she learns from her mistakes."

"What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? Dr. Pokemon."