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Joke of the Day

"The best thing about living at the beach is that you only have assholes on three sides of you."

"Yesterday CNN reported that ""sitting will kill you, even if you exercise"" and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but living will kill you."

"I bet old hobbit ladies watched a lot of ""Mordor, She Wrote."""

"NASA confirms, life found on mars."

"School day Son: I can't go to school today. Father: Why not? Son: I don't feel well Father: Where don't you feel well? Son: In school!"

"My girlfriend is like the square root of a negative 100... She's a perfect 10! But she's also imaginary."

"The wife came home last night and asked ""Is there anything on tv?"" I said ""yeah,dust!"" And then the fight started."

"My company moved offices and wanted to transfer my job to northern Canada But I was having nunavut."

"Two blondes walk into a building... You'd think one of em would have seen it! Ba dum tss"

"Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice? For the Halibut"