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Joke of the Day

"Once again, overheard my 13yo tell someone that I was born in the 1900s. Now I want to hide under the covers and stab all her teddy bears."

"Q: What is the lightest thing in the world? A: A penis because just a thought can lift it."

"What do 7 million Chevy's have in common? I don't recall."

"My girlfriend hates my new cologne chloroform... She says it makes her drowsy and gives her a sore ass"

"My favourite thing about Pedophilia jokes... Is that they never get old!"

"It's nice to see women who don't lose their figures as they grow older. They take such a long time to paint and Warhammer is expensive enough as it is."

"Two wives talking about sex The first asks 'Do you smoke after sex with your husband?' 'I don't know' replies the second 'I've never looked'."

"Gf:Do u love me? Me:Yes. Gf:Why do u love me? Me:You're the best. Gf:I'm the best at what? Me:Asking questions. Gf: Like what? Me:..."

"My ex got me arrested cause I used to sit outside her house all day. She thought I was stalking her but i wasn't, i just had her WiFi code."

"Did you hear? The supreme court ruled that gay marriage has extended to swans."