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Joke of the Day

"I have two tickets to the Euro's final.. problem is it's on the same day as my wedding... So if anyones interested it's at St.Peters church in Brighton and her name is Sarah."

"Did you guys see the movie about the hotdog? It was an Oscar Wiener"

"Hey girl, did it hurt? Did it hurt when you had to use your fingernails to rip through the dense layers of sediment on your way up from Hell"

"I like my men like I like my neutron stars Hot, dense, and degenerate."

"I find puns about bones to be... quite Humerus!"

"Honey, give me the baby. -Wait until he cries -Until he cries..? Why..? -Because I can't find him..."

"Dont drink and Derive Especially in Meth class"

"Dear white people: you stop Adam Sandler from making movies and we'll stop Eddie Murphy."

"What did the police do to the sweater? They pulled it over."

"Say the punchline first How do you ruin a joke?"