39740

Joke of the Day

"Just saw a fully functional phone booth with an intact yellow pages; so, yeah, I know a thing or two about time travel."

"Why did the horse go behind the tree? To change his jockeys."

"I hate weddings, funerals and the symphony. I never know when to clap."

"It's kinda like i'm a shopaholic but with alcohol instead of clothes."

"I'm not a great lap dancer, I've got two left cheeks."

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Santa? Santa stops at 3 'Ho's'"

"For a gentleman, Shakespeare really knew how to spread those thy's."

"What did the sadist do to the masochist? Nothing."

"A lady said I was catching up to... her in terms of age. I said she must be moving too fast."

"with great power comes great electricity bills"