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Joke of the Day

"Dear #Athiests Evolution could never design and create a machine that consumes scraps and produces bacon"

"""Pick a lane! Any lane!"" - I hate commuter magicians."

"I always date mathematicians. That way when they ask why I'm breaking up w/them I can say DO THE MATH JERRY. Oh yeah & I always date Jerries"

"If you trip over in public, a cool thing to do is break into a jog, leave the country, have plastic surgery and change your name."

"Broke a mirror today Seven years bad luck, my lawyer says he will get it down to five"

"What happens when two bald men put their heads together? They make an ass of themselves"

"TIL that in some states, graffiti vandals are fined $100-200 per letter. So if you make a whole bunch of letters, you could end up with a hefty sentence."

"Where do the cleverest parrots live? In the brain tree forests!"

"Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? A: One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb."

"Any time someone says ""have you seen that YouTube video?"" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone"