50277

Joke of the Day

"How does a skeleton call her friends? On a telebone."

"Kids today are too obsessed with their phones to care about the ""free candy"" on my van. *crosses off ""candy"" and writes ""wi-fi"""

"*sees people doing the mannequin challenge, brings back ice bucket challenge and dumps it on mannequin people*"

"In America, we decide to bomb people after a week of reflection, but have debated the legality of smoking a plant for 40 years"

"What is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"I stopped writing poetry when I realized their only value was to threaten to read them to people if they didn't do what I wanted."

"Q: What happens to an air conditioner when you pull its plug? A: It loses its cool."

"Why are there no feminists in Japan? Because the Japanese hunt whales."

"The main reason I got divorced is because I got married."

"A major yet unspoken difference between medieval times and now is... These days, if someone owns a sword, it's a pretty safe bet you can kick their ass."