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Joke of the Day

"What is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"I met an exercising nun. She was a firm believer."

"Why are there so many Jews? It's the only race that's well accounted for."

"One problem with autocorrect is that you always end up posting some thong that you didn't Nintendo."

"Perhaps the most gut wrenching part of my day is the moment I look in my fast food bag to see if they remembered my straw"

"Why doesn't the U.S. government allow students to visit North Korea? They become victims of youth-in-asia!"

"What do you call a depressed cow? A mooooope"

"My blood type is A+ because I'm the best at everything. Even at having blood."

"I've never owned a telescope... But it's something I'm thinking of looking into"

"I'm going to fire one of the guys that works at my mayonnaise factory. He keeps asking for a mayoRaise."