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Joke of the Day

"I fell in the mud. And took a shower right after!"

"Why don't Polish mothers breast feed their babies? They hate to boil their nipples."

"I heard Sean Connery's great grandpa was hung for lese-majeste. God, shave the Queen."

"Why was the big hairy two-headed monster top of the class at school? Because two heads are better than one."

"How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?"

"Just bumped into my old French teacher and she asked me what I'm up to now. I told her I go to the cinema and play football with my brother."

"Quotes to calm an angry woman: 1. Stress makes you fat. 2. My ex never acted like that. 3. I love you, even if you're just like your mom."

"What do you say to an native american who, you think, is telling you lies? Don't sittin' bullshit me."

"My wife always freaks out when she's on her period Keep having to tell her to stop ovary acting."

"Met two guys named Andre coincidentally It was a real double ent""andre"""