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Joke of the Day

"Why don't Polish mothers breast feed their babies? They hate to boil their nipples."

"Mo' money mo' problems might be true, but I'd still like to find out for myself."

"Auto-correct is so crazy now a days... My mom meant to text me 'I love you' but it auto corrected to 'You're a disappointment.'"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"

"Damn girl, are you my Bachelor's degree because you wasted my time and now I hate you."

"I just joined Twitter; it's really easy to follow people. Too bad it cuts into my exercise."

"Did you hear about the holocaust museum banning Pokemon? I guess they didn't want a bunch of Ash running around."

"I took my wife to Hawaii for our 25th wedding anniversary. You know what I did for our 50th? Went back and got her."

"My girl's father said ""YOU TOOK MY DAUGHTER'S VIRGINITY""! I replied, ""Sorry. Won't happen again!"""

"An upvote is like a minute of sex. I'd like 1000, but I can only muster 5."