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Joke of the Day

"Met two guys named Andre coincidentally It was a real double ent""andre"""

"I used to pray for a new bike... then i found out that's not how god works so I stole one and prayed to be forgiven"

"Knock-Knock... -Who's there? -Doctor. -Doctor Who? -No, bitch. Doctor House."

"got removed from r/showerthoughts but... Helen Keller really only knew a hand-full of words..."

"[Taylor Swift on toilet, going #2. Kanye jumps out of her shower] ""Yo, Taylor- I'm really happy for you & I'm-a let you finish, but..."""

"This woman got so offended when I asked if I could pet her son, like I'm the one who put him on a leash."

"What do you call a man in a hole? Phil."

"Why can't the main character of Fallout 4 get a girlfriend? Because they're too young for him"

"What do hostages eat? #ThingsYouDontAskAlexa"

"If I had a bodyguard, I'm pretty sure he'd just spend most of his time sighing and saying ""Don't eat that..."""