50160

Joke of the Day

"I think Stu does not gets the recognition he deserves Without him, those who are studying would just be dying."

"It's crazy how much stuff there is to do on my phone when sitting at a restaurant alone."

"I bought a locket today and put my own picture in it.... Now I can truly think of myself as Independent."

"What's six inches and not getting sucked today Whitney Houston's crackpipe"

"Why did 10 die? He was in the middle of 9/11."

"While shopping, look for this marker on where the gluten free aisle is at. You'll see a man with a gun to his mouth. Because, you know, bullets are gluten free."

"[my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down."

"Drunk me absolutely loves creating awkward encounters for sober me."

"A Star Wars scene where drunk Luke and Han admit they have no idea what Chewie and R2 are saying, and then they both just start laughing"

"I wear a 3-piece suit to bed in case someone breaks in & we have nothing to talk about. ""Did you notice I'm wearing a suit?"" ""Yes"""