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Joke of the Day

"""Is that the guy who doesn't know how to use the word poignant?"" Yea shhh he's coming over here THE GUY: hey guys! long time no poignant"

"Two peanuts where walking down the street... One was assaulted."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar and a table. And some chairs."

"A midwife delivered a baby and asked the mother "" wow your baby has such lovely hair, does he get it from his dad?"" The new mother replied "" I don't know, he wore a hat"""

"Husband said our electricity bills are too high need to cut back so I asked him to move."

"Got fat from going to auctions every day. yep, it's more bid obesity!!!"

"You may be able to drive but do you Avocado"

"My 13 yo niece is ""experimenting with alcohol"" according to my dad. Like she's keeping a ledger of her findings. ""12/21/09: Scotch. Woo!"""

"Three Tampons. Three tampons are walking down the street. One is light flow, one medium flow, and one heavy flow. Which one says hi to you? None, they are all stuck up cunts."

"I seen twins hugging I told them to get a womb"