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Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair (credit to my physics teacher's wife)"

"Son and Dad Joke Son: Dad, when i look down i have 4 balls. How is that possible ? Dad: I'm fucking your ass, son."

"Jimmy: Khaleesi, of course means Queen. What's your real name again? Khaleesi (Kristen Wiig): Karen"

"WebMD auto dialed an ambulance when I entered my chicken nugget intake."

"What do your child and your dick have in common? If you don't beat it enough, it'll start standing up for itself in public."

"Why does George Zimmerman keep popping up every 6 months or so? Is he the McRib?"

"If a cougar is a woman who likes younger boys... then a man who likes younger boys must be a Nittany lion!"

"What you call a Dildo with six heads? Hail Hydra!"

"Why are there fences around cemeteries? Because people are just dying to get in!"

"How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich? Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed."