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Joke of the Day
"WebMD auto dialed an ambulance when I entered my chicken nugget intake."
Next Joke
"How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change."
"There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who undertsand binary, and those who don't."
"If a tree falls in the forest & nobody hears it... Does a hipster buy its album?"
"It takes a car 30 years to become vintage. It takes a phone 30 days."
"How many passive aggressive people does it take to change a light bulb? Don't bother, I'll do it myself."
"Nothing's more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me."
"Two drums and a symbol fall off a cliff... [www.instantrimshot.com](http://instantrimshot.com/classic/?sound=rimshot)"
"What kind of weed do reptiles smoke? Mariguana."
"Giving somebody a greeting card is the most festive way to deposit $5 into their trashcan."