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Joke of the Day
"How do ducks fly high? They use quack!"
Next Joke
"What's the hardest part of making chicken fried steak? Teaching the chicken to cook"
"I met a guy who said he could get a great deal on a pillowcase... turns out, it was a sham."
"What do you tell a person who is about to jump off a bridge and commit suicide ""Don't do it! You have so much potential"""
"A mom sat down next to me at the park, smiled and asked, ""Which one's yours?"" I replied, ""None of them... yet."""
"Do you know if Stephen Hawking still has his old phone number? Everytime I call, a machine answers."
"'I'm not going to school today' Alexander said to his mother. 'The teachers bully me and the boys in my class don't like me.' 'Why ?' 'Firstly you're 35 years old. Secondly you're the principal.'"
"Hardest part of being a vegan What's the hardest part of being a vegan? Waking up at 5 to milk the almonds."
"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to change the bulb and four to beat the shit out of the black guy who was originally hired to change the bulb."
"So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response"