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Joke of the Day

"A mom sat down next to me at the park, smiled and asked, ""Which one's yours?"" I replied, ""None of them... yet."""

"What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels..."

"Knock knock Who's there? Probably a murderer because it's 2015 and a normal human being would just text ""here"""

"What gives wookies cancer? Chewbacco"

"What did the lightning bolt say to the old oak tree? -Hang onto your bark this will be no ordinary spark"

"What is a pedophile's first guitar lesson? How to finger A minor"

"Jared Fogle will feel a sense of familiarity in jail. Even inside jail, he'll be enjoying fresh meat."

"I like my girls like I like my drinks... Virgins"

"DNA doesn't make you a parent. Stepping on a lego guy on your way to the bathroom at 3 am does"

"Mini M&M's - for when you just can't finish an entire M&M"