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Joke of the Day

"A quadriplegic goes on a blind date... And he gets stood up."

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"Describe your sex life with a video-game title. Uncharted."
"Sex can make your day But anal can make your hole weak"
"What do you call customers at Lidl? Lidl people."
"What do you call it when a black guy gets a hard on? The Dark Knight Rises"
"I like to go to death metal shows and throw throat lozenges on the stage, it shows I care."
"My pal is very dumb. The first time she saw a spaghetti bowl, she thought of a harder version of Mikado."
"My bf asked me to act like a ""naughty school girl"" for him so I forged a note from my mom saying I don't have to participate."
"Stores in baltimore have been completely looted. all that's left is sunscreen and father's day cards. sauce: http://imgur.com/gallery/Tae9PI5"
"What did one plant say to another when it dropped its camera into the sea? ""Photos-in-the-seas!"""