49760

Joke of the Day

"Mandy was applying for a summer job. 'How old are you?' asked the owner of the store. 'I'm twelve years old Sir' answered Mandy. 'And what do you expect to be when you grow up ?' 'Twenty one Sir.'"

Next Joke
 
"Why didn't the oyster have any friends? He was shellfish. Woo! Been thinking for days trying to come up with some OC to blast your brains with."
"Tripler's Dating Tips 20/50: hide a tape recorder in your pocket with a laugh track on it and press play after every single thing you say"
"I hate dolphins... ...for all intents and porpoises."
"What is a Jawa's favorite food? Poutini!"
"Why did the PI detective cross the road? He needed to keep up with Jenny's U-turns."
"Cop: Know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I'm black?? Cop: Sir, you're white, driving 90 in a 30. Me: Racist. Cop: Get out."
"The music of life needs more cowbell."
"Apparently ""cool story, bro"" is not an acceptable substitute for ""congratulations"" when your friend calls and tells you she's pregnant."
"What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news? Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny"