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Joke of the Day

"I'm at my most nurturing when I'm plotting a way to drop my 12 yr old at school 3 days early."

"My wife wanted me to lose weight, so I dropped 120 pounds But she got right back up again. She can take a hell of a punch, my wife."

"Why was the programmer unhappy at his job? He wanted arrays. It had to be reiterated several times before it was sorted out."

"It's not the most beautiful poem, but it's pretty deep I dig you dig he digs she digs we dig"

"Use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence My brothers girlfriends boobs are so big when she wears a ten button shirt she can only fascinate."

"Why shouldn't white people go swimming? Nobody likes a soggy cracker!"

"my wife says she's leaving me for being to arrogant. I said don't slam the door on your way back in."

"Success is just like being pregnant."

"I used to not get on with my mother-in-law but over the last few months I've developed quite an attachment for her. It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her mouth shut!"

"Knock Knock! -Who's there? -I eat mop..."