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Joke of the Day
"Success is just like being pregnant."
Next Joke
"Neighbors across the street have their Christmas lights up, so I invited them to my Easter Egg hunt this afternoon."
"Just went for a piss while still wearing my microphone and the whole conference heard me call the urinal a ""thirsty boy"""
"How man nihilists does it take to change a light bulb? It doesn't matter."
"If we allowed all banned substances - just think about how exciting sports would be"
"Which is more promiscuous, a Northern girl or a Southern girl? A Northern girl says ""You can"" but a Southern girl says ""Y'all can""!"
"Why should the Roman Catholic Church allow priests to marry? They would have a more detailed understanding of what Hell is actually like."
"[pinned down by sniper fire] Squad leader: I'm going in. Hughes, lay down some cover for me Me [putting a blanket on the floor]: you betcha"
"My girlfriend has this really weird fetish She likes to pretend she's 13 years old when we have sex. I don't know why, she'll be 13 in a couple of years anyway."
"What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun has only one trigger."