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Joke of the Day

"Them: If you were stranded on a desert island with any two people, living or dead, who would they be? Me: Can they both be dead?"

"Where in the supermarket would you find the Dalai Lama? Eggs-aisle."

"ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking... and this [copilot starts sick beatbox] is your captain rapping ALL OUT OF FUEL ALL OUT"

"Sign at the gas station: ""Bathroom is no longer available."" I can't believe it. Even the Shell bathroom has someone."

"Did you hear about the competition for the world's best Tie? There was no clear winner."

"In or On ? Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?"

"Why are there so many female archaeologists? Because women love digging up the past."

"FDA should require Starbucks baristas/cashiers to be calorie counters. ""Here's change of 50 and that's 1,073 calories of your Venti Frap."""

"What's white and 12 inches long? Absolutely nothing."

"What do you call the gingerbread man's ghetto cousin? The wonderbread man."