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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new emo pizza? You just make fun of it, and it cuts itself!"

"Two cannibals are eating a clown One turns to the other and says, ""Does this taste funny to you?"" The other one replies ""Yeah, it kinda does."" Two days later they both died of food poisoning."

"I can't go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes"

"What is the difference between a circus side show and a Las Vegas floor show? One has a cunning array of stunts, the other has a stunning array of cunts."

"A lot of parents are asking questions about my baby cannon. Like ""Does it really fire babies?"" & ""Have you seen my son Jeff?"""

"What did one testicle say to the other? ""Hey I hear your neighbor's a real dick"""

"Life is like a shit sandwich... The more bread you have the less shit you have to eat."

"My wife and I have a new arrangement. I can sleep with any woman I want, but she doesn't speak to me or live with me anymore."

"How to make your wife take care while driving? Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age."

"What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait? 2B or not 2B?"