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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a circus side show and a Las Vegas floor show? One has a cunning array of stunts, the other has a stunning array of cunts."

"Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milk shakes? Because he uses the finest ingredients."

"Old people that say tattoos are a waste of money: You have entire cabinets dedicated to plates that no one is allowed to use."

"TEXT ""TEXT"" TO TEXT TO DONATE A TEXT TO TEXT"

"Reading popular baby names. Once again, Adolf is nowhere to be found."

"After a few days with family, a padded cell with WiFi sounds like the perfect getaway."

"Knock Knock..... Whos there?? 9x11 9x11 Who?? 9x11 paper fight... I came up with this is a fit of insanity from sleep deprivation, so just laugh at it."

"Crouching tiger, public toilet seat."

"I really hate to get religious on here, but have you seen the thigh gap on Jesus. DAYUM!"

"Did you hear about the fly that sat on the toilet seat? It got pissed off."