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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a shit sandwich... The more bread you have the less shit you have to eat."

"Why did Aladdin have a shoe on his crotch? Because he told the Genie he wanted his penis to grow a foot."

"I was at a cafe when a Frenchman spilled water on himself. It was a pretty l'eau point in his life. (L'eau is French for water)"

"Just picked up a Where's Waldo audiobook: ""Not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo"""

"there is no way you can prove that babies grow and are not instead replaced overnight with entirely new but slightly larger babies"

"Scientists have recently discovered a virus that increases the apathy of those infected. No one seems to care."

"I guess anywhere they have that Zika virus... ...is a good place to go to get a little head."

"How is a photon like an abandoned church? They have no mass."

"It's ironic how the Segway-driving chinese cameraman plowed into the fastest man alive... ...because he ran into a bolt."

"Yo mama is so fat that if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill."