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Joke of the Day
"I texted my wife a picture of my flaccid penis. I wanted to let her know I was thinking about her."
Next Joke
"An old lady on the bus just tried to set me up with her daughter. Here's everything she knows about me: 1) I don't have a car"
"What's the difference between a Catholic Priest... ... and an e-cigarette-puffing GI Joe Action Figure collector? Well, one is a toy-loving vapist..."
"Why are Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse having a divorce? Because Minnie is fucking Goofy"
"What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist."
"Old people always poke me at weddings and say ""you're next."" I do the same thing to them at funerals"
"What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator was opened? ""Close that damn door! Can't you see I'm dressing??"""
"Why did the Libertarian cross the road? Fuck you, none of your business. Am I being detained?"
"What is brown and rhymes with snoop dogg? Dr. Dre"
"My mate went to a restaurant and the waiter had lost his left arm Serves him right"