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Joke of the Day

"What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator was opened? ""Close that damn door! Can't you see I'm dressing??"""

Next Joke
 
"What do you get when you put human DNA in a monkey? A lifetime ban from the Zoo"
"*sits down in a classy as hell bar* ""barkeep! a bottle of your finest champagne please. I earn..."" *lowers shades* ""$200 every 4 months"""
"I eat a lot of swordfish. I like to be ready in case there's a food fight."
"""The new iPhone 6 is bigger!"" Meh. ""It has more sensors!"" Pfft. ""You can block group texts."" I WOULD LIKE ONE THOUSAND OF YOUR IPHONE"
"My wife just put lipstick on. She only does this on special occasions...you know what's next fellas..... We're going to church."
"What is the most popular kids show in the Middle East? Dora the EXPLODER"
"KNOCK KNOCK!? Knock knock? -whuz diz? Opportunity -nigga be lying opportunity doesn't knock twice"
"Two guys stole a calendar and divided it equally, but they got caught. They each got six months."
"My 5 stages of grief: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Are you gonna eat that?"
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