198470
Joke of the Day
"What is brown and rhymes with snoop dogg? Dr. Dre"
Next Joke
"[giving mother in law my famous salad dressing recipe over the phone] 1 part vinegar, then *bites lip so I don't laugh* 2 parts baking soda"
"[first date] HER: You smell so good. What are you wearing? ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy."
"If the opposite of Pro is Con... What's the opposite of Progress?"
"ME (watching a sea of a million llamas stampede over the horizon): dear God, it's the alpacalypse"
"I couldn't use my phone at the funeral home it was a dead zone."
"I got fired from my job as a massage therapist My boss said I rubbed people the wrong way."
"What is Italian-American foreplay? ""Hey! Wake up and roll over!"""
"When I was younger, I was so stupid, I made bad decisions that will haunt me for the rest of my life. And by ""younger"" I mean yesterday."
"Ever listen to the radio station WPMS? 3 weeks of the blues, one week of rag-time"