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Joke of the Day

"If my mom had just faked having a headache I wouldn't be writing this bullshit on the internet right now"

"The jerk store called They say your order of Jamaican spices is in."

"Can Neon form a chemical bond with Indium? NeIn."

"What do ghosts drink for Halloween? BOOOOZE!"

"I received 10 pounds of pot in the mail by mistake. So I did the right thing and called the police to come pick up all 4 pounds."

"If con is the opposite of pro... ... then congress is the opposite of progress."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes a long time, and the lightbulb has to want to change..."

"I just won an innuendo competition! I had to beat off some stiff competition though"

"What's a commercial fisherman's favorite instrument? Castanets!"

"You think you have it rough? I'm playing hangman with a 6yo who can't spell."