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Joke of the Day

"When people tell me ""You're gonna regret that in the morning"" I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem Solver"

"5 Years ago today I asked a beautiful girl out on a date. Today at 3pm I asked that same girl to marry me. Both times she said no"

"Why is everyone impatiently awaiting the new Zelda game? It's Hylian-ticipated"

"What do a woman and a bar have in common? Liquor in the front, poker in the back."

"Shriek your Twitter name between songs at concerts and hope that it makes the live album."

"My first time having sex was like my first time riding a bike .. my dad was holding me from behind .."

"What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, Chris Brown doesn't want you getting involved in his personal life"

"""Oh my gosh, this is the biggest donut I've ever seen."" ""Mam, that's a tire."" ""Kids, get me a napkin."""

"Why does an elephant have four feet? Because six inches isn't going to satisfy a female elephant."

"What you call a responsible porn star? Fistfully conservative!"