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Joke of the Day

"Gang tip: If a rival gang tags their symbol on your turf, don't cover it. Add a drawing of Calvin peeing on it. Now who's stupid? They are!"

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"Why couldn't Beethoven find his music teacher? He was Haydn"
"If a cop busts you with a prostitute, slip an engagement ring on her finger & be like ""Joke's on you, bro; we're in love!"""
"Q: I'm hungry. A: Nice to meet you, Hungry!"
"""BUT WE'RE DATING!"" the blonde screams, ""I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND."" ""You were"" Hefner chuckles. ""Now you're just some bunny that I used to know."""
"Why do golf commentators speak softly? To not wake the audience."
"Where was Jar Jar Binks in the new Star Wars movie? Answer: Who gives a fuck?"
"I don't trust Sperm Banks, so naturally I keep my semen hidden in my mattress."
"What kind of fruit never leaves the bowl. Cantaloupe"
"What do elephants in the zoo get for lunch? Half an hour, just like the rest of the animals."