185195

Joke of the Day

"How do you know your girlfriend is too young? She only puckers up for her pacifier."

"[takes a massive shit on a bird in the park] See? Not nice, is it?"

"POLICE: Sir, do you know how fast you were going? ME: Jealous much?"

"Sure, I have gluten free Halloween candy for your kid. *Reaches in pocket & pulls out middle finger* Get off my lawn before I call the cops"

"Lorena Bobbit died in a car accident today From what I hear, some dick cut her off."

"Why was Han Solo dissapointed in his Blow Job from Princess Leia? It was Chewy"

"What is black and starts with ""nig""? Nighttime, you racist bastard."

"I accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book it cost me a fortune in postage stamps"

"If Tom Cruise had an intervention to an addiction... They should call it ""Cruise Control."""

"What is Rihanna's favorite song? ""I can't feel my face when i'm with you"""