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Joke of the Day

"What's mostly red and has 2 legs? Half of a cat."

"I like my women like I like my wine... 7 years old and locked up in a cellar"

"I used to be a circumcist. The pay was shit but I got to keep the tips"

"*Playing catch* *dad throws ball over fence* ""I'll get it son!"" *25 years later* ""Wow he must've thrown it far"""

"Girls use lotion for hands Boys use lotion for skin."

"Stick around after sticking around after the Thor 2 credits. Very realistic 3D of a theater manager telling you to leave."

"Why does Hitler wear boxers in the winter time? He already lost one nut, he doesn't want to lose another!"

"My stages of drunk: 1) ""Everybody, watch this!"" 2) Prison"

"You don't sweat much for a fat chick."

"Me and a buddy went to an amputee party It was crawling with pussy."