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Joke of the Day

"Geography joke from my son Him: What's the capitol of Switzerland? Me: Ummm, Geneva? Him: Nope!.... BERN!!!!"

"What does a programmer do in the toilet? A log dump!"

"One of the anchors on CBS Sports just referred to smoking weed as ""toking salad"" and from that alone I'll bet my life savings he's a dad"

"Fastest Bolt at the Olympics? Was it Usain Bolt or Ryan Lochte's ride to the airport?"

"In 1979, a call coming from inside the house was a reason for terror. In 2014, it means one of you is too lazy to shout or come downstairs."

"Why did the star wars fan kill a blind man? Because he joined the dark side."

"Ever tried anal sex? Its fucking shit."

"How to Feed Elephants by P. Nutts"

"I'm trying out a new idea for using gum that's lost its flavor. Right now, it's just an ex-spearmint. (Sorry)"

"I bet it really confuses poor Forrest Gump to see Lt. Dan on TV solving crimes in New York."