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Joke of the Day

"How to Feed Elephants by P. Nutts"

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"Once a man went to a resturant and ordered an egg. When it was brought he didn't liked it so he informed the waiter that the egg was bad. Came the reply: ""I don't lay egg sir I just lay table !"""
"Police Officer: ""Can you identify yourself, Sir""? Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me""."
"Is that a Nexus 6 or are you just happy to see me?"
"I could be wrong, but an escape goat strikes me as an awfully inefficient getaway plan."
"What's Santa's favourite heavy metal band? Sleigher"
"A drug addict and a nun So a drug addict walks up to a nun and sees that her clothes are ripped. He looks at her and says, ""Sister, you have a bad habit."""
"Why did it take so long to see a picture of Saint West? Because he was a Tidal exclusive."
"What do you call a monkey with a white bandanna tied to his tail? A surrender monkey"
"I walked into a shop yesterday... 14 stitches."