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Joke of the Day

"One of the anchors on CBS Sports just referred to smoking weed as ""toking salad"" and from that alone I'll bet my life savings he's a dad"

"Why did the adobe acrobat document go to jail? ...because it was a pdf file."

"Have you heard about the corduroy pillows They were so famous they made headlines."

"""This is not the Droid you're looking for."" - Obi Wan helping Yoda pick out a new phone"

"Riverbed My daughter asked me the other day if the riverbed had a ""pillow"""

"I took a Scottish girl to the countryside. ""Hello view!"" she said, looking out the window of our rented house. I said, ""I love you too..."""

"THERAPIST: Ever had a job? ME: I once worked at a zoo T: Great! & what did you take from that? ME: Definitely not a penguin T: What M: What"

"Happy 48th B'day Quentin Tarantino. Stuck for a gift? Start his party with lots of boring conversation and then suddenly kill everyone"

"What did the Japan team say after the first half of the Women's World Cup? ""I, 4-1, know we won't win."""

"Did you hear the joke about ebola? ...you won't get it."