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Joke of the Day

"A real man will always find time for his woman, even if it means blowing off a date with his mistress."

"Your life doesn't get better by chance. It gets better by choice."

"Your girlfriend is so good in bed but can't do house chores. When your relatives complain you be like ""You guys don't know her very well"""

"Where in Eastern Europe does Justin Timberlake like to kayaking? Crimea River"

"[Airport Bar] Me: I'll have a beer, please. Bartender: That'll be $45. Me: Worth it."

"I have fond memories of the sausage factory. It was the best of times, it was the wurst of times."

"Your loud tweeting woke me up. Someone must have typed in all caps."

"What's big and hairy and goes 'beep beep'? A monster in a traffic jam."

"What goes Vrrrooom-schreech, Vrrrooom-schreech, Vrrrooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light."

"what idiot named it Mail Order Bride instead of Male Order Bride?"