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Joke of the Day

"I don't believe women have souls. Neither do men. I don't believe in souls."

"Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs? A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM."

"What does a Mermaid bring to math class? An algae-bra."

"[in Paris] Will you have sex with me? ""No monsieur."" Okay, like, I don't speak French. BLINK ONCE FOR NO AND TWICE FOR YES."

"What's it called when Hobbits build houses for other Hobbits? Hobbitat for Humanity"

"MISSING HER SHE SAID SHE DON'T WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP, THEN I WON 300,00 DOLLARS AND NOW SHE WANTS ME......I GAVE HER A DOLLAR AND TOLD HER WENDY'S IS OPEN.....LOL"

"My computer's RAM isn't that great... ...but it still has faster processing than the DMV."

"Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?"

"6yo: I can't wait to be an adult! Me: Adults don't get snow days. 6yo *faints*"

"A nurse found a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thought... ""Some asshole's got my pen"""