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Joke of the Day
"I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.."
Next Joke
"What do you call a showoff Texan? *Austin*tatious."
"Got caught again. Next time I'm stealin alcohol from the neighbor's, I gotta remember not to do it hummin the Mission Impossible theme song."
"What do you call a woman with no ass? A friend"
"Germans are always so quick to fix your mistakes when you trying to speak German. It's as if the whole German nation is on Otto correct."
"The worst thing about being deaf is... when I masturbate, I can't hear anybody come in my room. *Not even myself.*"
"What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce patch? A seizure salad."
"What's the worst part about vaping? Telling your parents you're gay."
"Instead of a happy ending the masseuse gave me an indie movie ending. She stopped suddenly at a random point and left everything unresolved."
"Relationship advice: Find someone who likes (or dislikes) the same amount of air-conditioning as you, and stick with them."