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Joke of the Day
"How do you get a fat girl into bed? Piece of cake"
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"A farmer's cattle broke out of their pen and got into the marijuana plants he was growing. The steaks were really high."
"What's the best way to make your wife scream when you're having sex? Call her up and tell her where you are."
"What do we want?! A cure for Tourette's!! When do we want it?! Cunt!"
"My internet went out today so I went downstairs and talked to my family They seem like nice people."
"I was at the Natural History Museum and I saw the Neanderthal exhibit. Those guys were buff studs. no homo"
"*Leonardo Dicapreo goes up to accept oscar* *pulls out speech* *blows dust off of it* Yes I'd like to thank the directors of titanic for th-"
"u kno how we have burger king do u think in italy they have spaghetti king"
"Upon graduation from the University of Phoenix, do they just send you a screencap of your degree?"
"To save money, instead of going to the club, I just get drunk at home and yell ""what?"" into a mirror over and over."