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Joke of the Day

"I was at the Natural History Museum and I saw the Neanderthal exhibit. Those guys were buff studs. no homo"

"What would I be if I were twice myself? a meme."

"Why did Eric Clapton move from PC to Mac? He had a bad experience with Windows"

"I see you liked my status... I accept your invitation for sex."

"My sense of humor is kind of like third world countries at night... dark."

"*hears your text message notification beep* *constantly imitates it so you check your phone for no reason*"

"I don't make spelling and grammatical errors I invent new languages. You ignorant Count."

"It's sad when a woman has to get breast implants just to keep her husband interested... ...it's even worse when his are still bigger."

"I once lip locked the soft ice dispenser at Dairy Queen until the manager had to hit me with a mop. So I know a little bit about rejection."

"i guess my favorite book would haveta be ""being and nothingness""... i was halfway done before i even started reading."