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Joke of the Day

"Your ass must get jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth!"

"My doctor put me on a strict vegan diet, but every Monday I'm allowed a cheat day So I nip out and fuck his wife."

"My parents used to listen to jimmy saville back in the seventies If only they had come into my room and stopped him."

"When a programmer is born, what are their first words? ""Hello world!"""

"How does Jesus like his hotwings? Tinder and Mild."

"Did you hear about the chickpeas who took a tumble? It was falafel."

"What do you call a repeat line cutter? A pair of scissors."

"""I'd UberBlack for you."" - what I assume a pick up line in 2016 sounds like"

"You know in a video game when you kept pushing b to get through the talking part but later realized you should've read it? That's adulthood."

"Damn girl, are you /r/jokes Because you are getting old"