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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: people around the office think you're too controlling Me: what's that? Coworker: oh, sorry *raises hand*"

"I remember the first time I had sex, I put the condom on the wrong way round. The girl looked and me and said, ""You're so stupid"" I said, ""What?"" ""You're supposed to do that before sex."" she replied."

"As a baby I took my son Caden to the park. Other kids there were Aiden Jayden Brayden & Ben. The parents that named Ben should get an award."

"I have a magic dog... It's a labracadabrador."

"Q. Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards? A. So they can park in handicapped zones."

"I guess it's not socially acceptable to put my hand in the shape of a gun into my mouth in the middle of a conversation."

"I don't drink Kool-Aid because I am worried about excessive property damage."

"What sound does a Hispanic pacman make? Guac-a Guac-a!"

"I invented a new word Repost"

"The Vietnamese hooker who works next to the asbestos factory always says, ""Ooh, me so thelioma."""