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Joke of the Day

"I remember the first time I had sex, I put the condom on the wrong way round. The girl looked and me and said, ""You're so stupid"" I said, ""What?"" ""You're supposed to do that before sex."" she replied."

"A blowfly walks into a bar.... And asks ""Is this stool taken?"""

"My girlfriend told me all I could think about was sex... Fanny she should say that!"

"How many literalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One."

"I unplugged my carbon monoxide detector from the wall today All that beeping was giving me headaches and making me feel nauseous"

"What do comic book collectors use in their hair? Mint conditioner."

"Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford comma go to a bar. They both had a great time."

"[bar] CUSTOMER: Barman BARMAN: Sir? C: This beer tastes like piss [further down the bar] BEAR GRYLLS: I'll have what he's having"

"Boeing 787 The Boeing 787 Dreamliner has had so many leaks from the fuel and oils on board that they are re-naming it the Wet Dreamliner! C.H."

"A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three He says, ""uno, dos..."" *poof* and he disappeared without a tres."