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Joke of the Day
"Losing a wife can be hard. In most cases it is damned near impossible."
Next Joke
"What's the procrastinator's favorite song? ""Tooomorrow, tomorrow, I love yah, tomorrow.."" (You're always a day away)"
"Forgot I started my stopwatch. It's now been 139:27.05 since I wondered how long it takes me to run five miles."
"Today someone told me that they run into things a lot So I told them that they should walk more"
"Opera is what happens when someone stabs you and instead of dying, you sing."
"I just got smiled at by a lovely cashier who has plenty of teeth, but clearly only brushes her favorites."
"How do you turn a cobra into a rattlesnake? Give it to Michael J Fox"
"And the LORD said "" Come forth and receive eternal life"" John came fifth and received a brand new toaster"
"Branson My wife and I went to Branson, Missouri. I think our hotel caters to senior citizens because it had a free incontinental breakfast."
"Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders are on a plane. The plane crashes. Who survives? America"