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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders are on a plane. The plane crashes. Who survives? America"

"To make a delicious omlette... you must be an eggspert."

"A man is told he is drunk by a Bartender He shouted ""I am not drunk"" The Bartender shouted ""Tell the time!"" The man walked up to the clock and shouted at the Clock ""I AM NOT FUCKING DRUNK"""

"I thought I would go and help out in Africa ...turns out they have enough aids."

"What's an Asian's favorite time to go to the dentist? tooth-hurty"

"The worst part about calling in for a sick day is the pressure of knowing you only have one shot to do the ""I'm sick"" voice."

"What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math."

"People who lick their fingers then page through the papers on the printer Just throw it out. I'll print it again."

"LOWERCASE IS FOR THE LOWER CLASS That is an example of a capitalist."

"I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink I call it, ""Make America Smashed Again"" It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice."