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Joke of the Day
"Direct from my 8-year old: How do nursing babies blow their noses? With breast tissue."
Next Joke
"My life is just like Black Swan, except replace ballet with reruns of Teen Mom and Mila Kunis with a carton of ice cream."
"For once in my life, I'd just want to feel wanted; even if it means robbing a bank."
"What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved."
"I had sex last night. Man I hate prison"
"Good friends don't let you do dumb things... alone."
"Does anyone know what would happen if the earth rotated 30 times faster than it does today? We would get paid every day, and all women would bleed to death."
"You've heard about the moron pilot who once made a tricky landing, haven't you?It was the shortest runway he'd ever seen. And the widest, too."
"Turns out HR doesn't care if it's national underwear day, you have to wear pants to work."
"Why can't a schizophrenic kleptomaniac become President? He always takes office clothes."