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Joke of the Day

"I just got asked to work on a ""special project"" which is boss for ""This was assigned to me but you're smarter so here you do it."""

"""That was mesmerizing!"" I know another big word... huge."

"Two fish are in a tank One turns to the other and says: ""do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb? Two. The light bulb you remove and the light bulb you replace it with."

"Why is an Oklahoma divorce like a Texas twister? Somebody's 'bout to lose a trailer."

"FRIEND: Try to relate to her. (Later on Date) ME: *nervously* Can I be your cousin?"

"Do you get extra points for killing two birds with another bird?"

"Why was the German woman freaking out? Because she was late."

"Research suggests that when someone disagrees with you, you should speak faster so they have less time to process what you're saying."

"I was very impressed by this child's witch costume. Until I realised she was just an ugly midget in a black dress."