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Joke of the Day

"ACQUAINTANCE: (crying) Nobody likes me ME: I like you ACQUAINTANCE: (crying harder) Nobody good likes me"

"You look so perfect standing there, In my American Apparel underwear, But I know now you probably opened the wrong Christmas present grandma"

"What did capital 'O' say to capital 'Q'? ""Hey, put that thing back in your trousers!"""

"You guy want to hear a joke about a cat? Nah. I'm just kitten."

"Doctor, how long do I have left to live? - Ten. - Ten what? - Nine."

"What happened when the orange slept with the dirty lemon? He got lemonaids."

"Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding was lousy, but the reception was great!"

"What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese."

"What do you call a vegan zombie? A no-brainer."

"I can never talk about religion... ...no one understands me when I tell them i'm a Dyslexic Santaist."