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Joke of the Day

"ACQUAINTANCE: (crying) Nobody likes me ME: I like you ACQUAINTANCE: (crying harder) Nobody good likes me"

"Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? He wanted to get a long little doggy."

"Want to know the secret for making 1 million dollars? Start investing with 10 million dollars"

"What does a man with two left feet wear to the beach? Flip-Flips."

"Reddit's future:"

"Why are statistics more believable with a larger sample size? The Ns justify the means."

"What do you use to compare and contrast nordic cultures? A Sven diagram!"

"""i wouldnt be caught dead"" someone throws a net over my dead corpse ""gotcha!!"" ""noooo"""

"Just saw a fat dude lick pizza grease off his shirt so that's the last time I eat in front of a mirror."

"I just got a text from a number I don't recognize saying, 'You're an embarrassment of a son'. I've narrowed it down to 2 people."